Life and Times of Someone You Might Know

Amanda Small never really got on with her name. The fact her family name was Small was always a bit of a joke in the neighbourhood as there was no getting away from the fact that they were a family of large people.

 For as long as Amanda could remember, her name had been changed by those around her. She had been known as Mandy Moo, Amanda the Panda, Manda, Mandy and Mand. Her life story defined through each variation of her name.

 Mandy Moo, sometimes shortened to Moo had been the name her brother Rob  had given her when she was three and stayed with her through primary school. However, once she had started growing breasts,  being called Mandy Moo often came with a request to see her udders and as such lost its charm.

Once she started senior school, Amanda became Amanda the Panda and she was never sure whether this related to the fact her mascara inevitably ended up as black rings around her eyes or that she was by this time, a lot bigger than most of the girls in her class. She often felt like a giant panda throughout her early teens with her hands and feet having a mind of their own in their clumsiness.

Manda was the name her best friend Cheryl used to call her. Cheryl- little petite slim Cheryl, who with Amanda spent every dinner break  perfecting their dance routine to Donna Summer’s “ I feel love” in the girls changing rooms.

Cheryl’s choreography always involved Amanda being the ‘man’  and she sometimes wondered if that was the reason for  Cheryl’s choice of name for her. However, Amanda could understand why it had to be that way, as the routine involved her having to lift and swing Cheryl around and there was no way it could ever happen the other way round.

Mandy was the name she was given at work from day one. She was a bit surprised that anyone remembered her name at all as the first few years of her working life seemed to pass by in a cloud of invisibility and sick days. She doubts whether anyone there ever knew what her full name was or, for that matter why she was there.

Mand, this name was given to her by Gareth,  the only real boyfriend she  ever had. Gareth Jenkins came  from Tredegar. She  met him when he was stationed near Aylesbury and she thought he was gorgeous. The way he said “Cwch up Mand”  in his deep melodious  accent  felt like she was  being covered in  Galaxy milk chocolate before having it slowly licked off. It was the only time she had liked her name.

Since Gareth’s departure from her life, everything had become beige. After another uneventful weekend when the only person she spoke to was  Alexa,  Amanda decided she needed to make some changes in her life. Amanda Small had to go.